We may hear or read a lot about people ‘finding balance’- work- life balance and so on, but how do we find balance? What does it mean to have balance?
Back in 2014 when I was 23, I was working in London, just down from the Gherkin and I was managing a multi million pound office building and a team of 4. I felt so proud and also starstruck at this time in my life, but I still had some issues… The accounts woman, for starters.. There’s always someone poking their nose in, pressing your buttons and boy did she rub me up the wrong way. After a 50 minute train commute and a 30 minute walk back, I finally reached home, which was in Ware, Hertfordshire, where I was living with my childhood sweetheart and his brother, i’d cook us all dinner, unscrew a bottle of wine, slob on the sofa and glug it back. I had nothing else to do, nowhere to be and to be honest, no energy to do anything else. So back then, that was my way of finding a work life balance!
What makes you tick?
That year my boyfriend and me flew to Thailand to visit my boyfriends Dad & step Mum. We were sat one evening on the island of Phi Phi, I was drinking a pina colada ..
..and my boyfriends Dad asked me “what makes you tick?” I felt this surge of embarrassment rise through me and flush into my cheeks, as I didn’t even know what he meant. I rustled up a response of; painting my nails and going shopping. It was although for the first time in my life, I consciously asked myself, ”what do you like doing?” and I didn’t even know! It has been the centre of my contemplation for years now, realising that balance is something more than alcohol, shopping or sex.. It’s something intangible. It’s a feeling and it doesn’t require something external to obtain.
I’d always been a very fiery, determined, ambitious workaholic. I constantly strived for more money, I liked to be the leader and to be in control of my life. 1 thing that always failed me, was my patience, the lack of it, my short temper and my anger.
Totally out of balance…….
Fast forward to 2015 now… My boyfriend and me broke up and I ran away to Australia. I met this polish guy, who was so full of wisdom, he was so interesting to listen to. I learned so much from him, I was besotted with him– totally out of balance… We were travelling on the road, in our Mitsubishi Pajero, just the 2 of us and I would constantly bring up this conversation of the 2 of us, why didn’t he call me his girlfriend? He used to say to me, “Louise you have me in this moment, why is this not enough? We drove together, cooked and ate together, we explored the West Coast of Australia together, we took photos together, we slept in the same bed, so why did I feel that what we had in that moment wasn’t enough? .. Because I was too focused on the future, but isn’t that near to insanity, because what I wanted was in front of me and I was too hooked on a time that didn’t even exist.
Early into my Yoga journey, I knew the benefits of practicing Yoga and so, I thought that I was just trying to find a place of ridding me of the anger, or the short temper that didn’t serve me.
Then one day I heard some very profound words spoken by Sadhguru. He said something along the lines of; ”you cannot have the highs, without the lows, if you let yourself get too high, you can also let yourself get too low, you cannot have the sun, without the rain” I must admit, I was taken back when I first heard these words, because i’ve always been a very enthusiastic, upbeat, bubbly person, the light and soul of a party. I used to get so excited about Christmas, even at 23 setting up our Christmas tree. If I had a holiday planned, i’d be packing weeks in advance, going out on shopping trips to colour co-ordinate my outfits, i’d check out the weather and all sorts, i’d totally run away with the future.
So being balanced is exactly what it says on the tin, just like a pair of weighing scales, neither too up nor too down, just equally balanced. In order to live continuously in a balanced state, you must take the sun with the storm, you cannot have high without low, but the key is to not run away with the high, because it can also lead us to go down with the low.
I gave a guided meditation this morning which you can watch here to talk about balance. To be balanced you need nothing, it is a feeling, and you gain balance with all that is within you, everything you need, is within you, you need nothing.
In mindfulness meditation, we reconnect to the here and now, so when we find ourselves unbalanced- focusing on the past or future, bringing our awareness to the here and now allows us to calm all that is getting distressed in the mind and body.
I hope you find this helpful 🙂
Founder & Director