Figuring out your $#!*

I remember a counselling session I had last year, I was having the sessions (in my head) because of boy troubles. When in reality there was boy troubles, family troubles, money troubles, career troubles, it’s like that isn’t it? You can talk about 1 thing, but then it opens up a can of worms. I believe this is the reason so many, don’t open up, don’t face their troubles, because there’s just too many and the thought alone is too overwhelming. People just carry on working tirelessly, racing through life and then it often takes a tragedy, or as some people may say a ‘mid life crisis’ before we finally start to address what’s going on, because we realise, we cannot run away all our lives. For some, it has the opposite effect and things get worse, sometimes critical.

I don’t know what it is, if people are born lucky or unlucky, but i’m not interested in figuring that out. I’m just interested in figuring out my $#!*
I had some troubles, like we all do and in 2015 I found myself in a pretty empowering situation, to literally take a hold of my whole life. Obviously I didn’t feel like that in the midst of losing my job and breaking up with my partner and having to move back in with my parents. It took a quiet moment in the Dorset air, with the sun shining on me, whilst laying on a blow up sofa, looking up at the clouds, wondering ‘what next?’…

A couple of months later I boarded a 1 way flight to Darwin, Australia and the next year was full of spontaneity, fun adventures and more troubles too…

I’ve managed to learn a lot in the last 6 years since that flight, which has helped me cope better and in turn has helped me to live better and I thought if it helps me, it can help others too. So in 2017 I started teaching my own classes to others who also wanted to figure some things out, whether it was their goals or sleeping better, reducing stress or calming anxiety, it’s been a good run. What i’ve learned though, is that, you don’t learn how to reduce stress or anxiety, learn to sleep better and then never face these issues again, because come on, “life’s not fair” and “Nobody said it was easy“..

But by going on a journey, we obtain an indispensable toolkit, which quite often, can be free. I spent a lot of time at a Hare Krishna temple, a Buddhist Monastery, where I spent 4 days in silence! I spent many Sunday’s and even Wednesdays at a Church, I learned about the Yogic teachings in India, but my teachings are not religious, I find i’m too much of an explorer to stick to 1 idea. I love to travel, I enjoy retreats, spa days, books, photography, movies, date nights, shopping and the list goes on..

March 23rd 2020, was another reminder to me that, “life’s not fair” we went into lockdown on my birthday and we were still in and out of lock downs on my 30th birthday the following year. I haven’t taught a single in person private class over the past 18 months, because of the COVID-19 restrictions, but as Coldplay sung “Nobody said it was easy“. I’ve taken a hold of the privileges that I have, like my own home, a mobile phone, internet and I guess confidence and I started teaching online instead. See it’s not about being lucky or unlucky, it’s about figuring out your $#!* ”It’s not about the cards youre dealtbut how you play the hand.”

So do you want to learn to figure out your $#!*?
You can still do this via online Zoom classes or,
finally, coming this month, we are getting back in the room and you can have real in person sessions yay!

Until next time,
Louise X

Founder
http://www.stresslessrelaxtothemax.com

Happy Full Moon

Happy Full Moon!!!! This full Moon known as the Flower Moon 🌸 🌺 🌹 also corresponds to Vesak……
What is Vesak?
Vesak is a Buddhist holiday that commemorates the birth, enlightenment, and death of Gautama Buddha” ☸️

Who was Gautama Buddha?
Widely known as ‘Buddha’. He is regarded as the founder of Buddhism

What does Buddha mean?
Buddha means “Awakened One” or “Enlightened One” 💡

What is Buddhism?
Buddha rediscovered an ancient path to release clinging and craving and escape the cycle of birth and rebirth.
Buddha taught a training of the mind that included self-restraint, and meditative practices such as mindfulness.

Here are some teachings of Buddha;

“The mind is everything. What you think you become” 🤔 💭

“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world” 💭 🌍

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path” 🚶🏻‍♀️ 🚶🏽‍♂️ 🚶🏼

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment”

“Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship” 🎁 💰 ❤️

P.S listen to my experience on a 5 day silent Buddhist retreat at Amaravati Buddhist Monastery on YouTube; ‘StressLessRelaxToTheMax’

My experience on a 5 day, Silent Buddhist Retreat at Amaravati Buddhist Monastery

fullmoon #flowermoon #vesak #guatamabuddha #buddha #buddhism #buddhist #mindfulness #stresslessrelaxtothemax

My Vulnerable

Since being a teen, I suffered with my Mental Health.
I had no understanding of my thoughts & feelings, which made me feel so alone and isolated. I became vulnerable to the ‘popular people’ in school, who constantly targeted me, inside and outside of school.
I felt like everyone hated me and I felt like I didn’t belong, anywhere.
I couldn’t wait to leave school, I hated it, which made me feel even more isolated and different, because everyone else seemed to love it.

After leaving school at 16, I still didn’t know how to express my feelings,
I enrolled for Air Cabin Crew, time for another new,
I had my hair & teeth bleached, I took regular trips to the sun beds and wore fake nails and fake eyelashes and didn’t leave the house without a mask of make up on.
Now that I look different, I can hide my different. (that’s what I thought….)

At 17 my parents decided to part and this is when my world was ripped apart.

I was now 24 and I just knew there had to be more…
A relationship broke down, I lost my job and I found myself living with my Mum & step Dad.
I booked a 1 way ticket and I packed a bag and travelled to the other side of the world, with my ‘best friend’ at the time…

A few weeks in, tension grew and then she flew and I had to start another new…
It was in these moments that I too grew, out of my comfort zone and into the outback.

From Australia to Indonesia, Poland to Spain, Scotland to Iceland, Las Vegas to France, Bahrain & to India. Christianity, Buddhism & Hinduism.
At 26 I quit my London career, I took advantage of my credit cards and I started my own business.
I was Desperate, Depressed and I was fed up of faking it, I was physically, mentally & emotionally exhausted…
The last 6 years I have dedicated my life to learning about myself, emotions, thoughts, the body, the brain, Yoga, Meditation, Mindfulness, Self Love, Gratitude, Rituals, Prayer, Mental Health, Crystals and so much more…

I don’t know everything,
but if i’ve learned 1 thing,
it’s to deal with your emotions, feelings & thoughts,
head on, straight up,
because if you don’t,
they’ll come back & bite your butt..

I’m not perfect, but i’m sure as hell better than who I was yesterday.

Fall, fail, try & cry, travel, love, live & laugh, but most of all learn and grow, be vulnerable, express yourself and embrace just who you are.
Cut off your dead weights, cut away from those who bring you down and spread your wings & fly because there’s a whole world out there waiting for you!

YOU are your only limit.

[Day 5 of 5] Video – Tips & Recommendations to help improve your Mental Health + Guided Meditation
Full length; (47:28 mins)Why not save this video to watch later?

Miss an earlier video? Watch the 5 part series here…

Love & Light
Louise
Founder

Do you feel a bit lost in lockdown? Bored? Or overwhelmed?

By this 3rd lockdown, I started to get restless I’ll admit.. I was feeling the strain of being couped up in this little flat.. with little to do, I did feel distressed at times.. 

So do you want to know how I have 𝑳𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅 to feel good in lockdown?

Lockdown for me has meant not running my business as usual, so I have had to source income in other ways.. in #Lockdown2 I got a job in a health shop and in #Lockdown3 I got a job as a cleaner .. I’m not shy to a bit of hard graft and I’ve never been too fazed as to what the job is, so long as I’m busy at work.. 

With my group classes closed until further notice, it has given me a whole year to re-evaluate my whole life… seriously … as cheesy as that sounds, I’ve had time to sit back and regain my vision; what I want from life, what makes me tick, what I like, what I don’t like, who I am and what I represent. . . 

On my online relaxation meditation & yoga session last night, the gratitude inspiration note was;

“𝑰 𝒂𝒎 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝑰 … (fill the blank)

𝑰𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝑰 𝒘𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅𝒏’𝒕 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 …” (fill the blank)

Over the past year living in this flat and spending most of it in lockdown, I have learned how to put myself first again, it’s so easy to teach self love, but after my partner and me broke up last year, it was time to take a spoonful of my own medicine that I was dishing out… Sound familiar?

I dipped into counselling sessions, I invested a lot of my time in relationship coaching and I have fallen in love with the therapy that gardening gives me.. 

For the love of gardening, 03-March 2021, My home, West Cottage, England

Feeling good, is a choice you always have.

In this current situation, you can either choose to get distressed, overwhelmed and or bored because of lockdown, or you can actively seek out therapeutic activities to do to feel good, the choice is yours, what do you choose? 

Namaste

Louise

Founder

‘stress less relax to the max’

Has your self care taken a back seat throughout lockdown 3?

Mine has. As I took on a temporary role as a housekeeper to fill my days, my appearance became something unimportant… Since I wasn’t teaching my classes and attending meetings and conferences and holding exhibitions, as I was pre COVID-19, I’ve become a bit of a recluse and a couch potato.. haven’t we all? 

Not going out and seeing your friends, family, colleagues or clients as you usually would affects you, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually… because we are social beings, we long to bond and connect to people and that’s been taken away from us, so it’s not to blame that we’ve experienced bouts of depression or social anxiety or put on weight… because it’s kind of like learning to be a human again, after we’ve been locked away all this time! 

2 days ago I was covered in paint, my hair needed washing and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d worn makeup… 

24.02.2021 Facebook @stresslessrelaxtothemax

I found it kinda nostalgic this morning, because it took me back to a moment, in September 2015, I’d spent 2 whole months living in a 4×4, my bedroom became a roof tent, my bath became a lake or a river.. as for washing my hair..  well, let’s just say I was lucky if that happened once a week in a public toilet sink.. Laundry was washed in the same way and hung to dry from the doors of the car or over a fence if there was one.. As for shaving.. let’s just say I was grateful for having the little metal tins to eat from, because boy they came in handy! 🤪

National Park, Esperence, South Coast of Western Australia, 2015

That year down under changed my life forever, it was as if everything I’d ever learned, was put to one side and I became a new creation of me.. One that I chose to be..

People seem to have this view of people who go travelling, as if they’re ‘wasting their lives’ and they seem to think life becomes the view through rose tinted glasses, but for me.. I went out of my comfort zone, I loved and I lost, I jumped and I fell, I realised friends don’t always have your back and your family just might not be there when you need them the most… But in every mess there is always a message; The only person you can ever rely on, is yourself. 

So make that self care your own selfs responsibility. It’s not down to others to fill your cup, Let go of the expectations of what others should do for you, they might just be letting up on their own self care too.. 

Choose Love ❤️

Happy Friday,

Love Louise x

Did you feel lost during lockdown?

I know I did .. 

On 12th March 2020, (little did I know back then), but I taught my last in person meditation class to date. . . I had developed a cough and didn’t feel well in myself at all .. I called the healthline and was advised to self isolate for 1 week … 

Come 23rd March as I was to turn 29, I planned to take my clients out to celebrate .. but Boris had other plans “Stay home, save lives” he said .. and with that, my income stopped overnight… 

A quote comes to mind “Man plans, God laughs”

Are you the kind of person who doesn’t let yourself relax? Feel like you’ve always got to be doing something? Do you feel guilty if you’re not doing something? Do you ever just say “I’m just one of those people who can’t relax”?

Meditation eases my anxiety and calms down my anger, it helps me to live in the present moment and be able to get out of my head when my thoughts consume me. Meditation helps me to be kinder to myself and to others, it helps me to be my own best friend and rid any “lonely” feelings I once had, Meditation helps me to feel loved and to be at one with myself, but one feeling I’ve always struggled to shift, is that squirming feeling in my body, that I should be “doing” something .. 

Lockdown showed me how to do, just that.. “Dolce Far Niente”‘the sweetness of doing nothing’… Here’s a clip from ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ one of my favourite movies, explaining the sweetness of doing nothing…

I am forever grateful for the break, grateful for the time to stop, but so immensely grateful, that someone with power, stopped me from having to do anything. . There were no excuses.. I was locked down with my boyfriend and his brother who were both high risk … It was time to Relax…..

20 weeks was my lockdown.. No business, no income… Part of me felt helpless..

It was time to digest LIFE and to reflect on my life and to heal from my life, once and for all and for that, I am eternally grateful. 

Lockdown was also the end of my relationship and my time in our flat… Although I wanted to stay, I was turned down by the Lettings agency because I was told “we will have to run another credit check on you and you don’t earn enough” she said .. I told her, this pandemic has taught us all to find a new normal. . 

“Man plans and God laughs” I said earlier, it’s my new mantra for living in the moment… “Mindfulness is the extremely difficult art of leaving the past and the future alone” – Mokokoma Mokhonana

But more about that squirming.. It was time to face that feeling head on… Meditation gives me the space to look inside of myself, I had this epiphany with my counsellor, “Stress Less, Relax To The Max” I said .. it’s kind of ironic isn’t it? Says the girl who can’t even relax herself… 

Meditation helps us to face life head on, not running away from our problems, but noticing them and address them, I think Meditation is a very brave thing to do.

So here’s my new normal .. I got the flat .. I got a job, I relaunched my business online, I got a new dress and I got a new hair cut too…

One thing about me, that’s never changed, is I always get what I want, you know why? Because I work for it. Not because i’m an aries, but because I believe “You get what you work for”…. It all starts with a dream..

Namaste

Louise

Founder

What do you ‘need’ in life right now?

‘Be careful what you wish for, it might come true’

have you ever heard these words before? Or ‘thoughts become things’? 

“The dream that you wish, will come true” – Disney 

There’s a lot out there to say “seek and you shall receive” – The Bible

But experiencing something first hand is better than any written word isn’t it? 

As a Director of a registered UK limited company, I have to do tax returns, which are basically files to show what money came into my business and what money came out of it, in any given year.
I have needed to find an accountant to assist me with something more technical for a long while now and it was starting to bother me, because it was one of those things I kept putting to 1 side, burying my head in the sand, hoping it would go away type job, sound familiar? 

I bought some wellbeing magazines the other day, a type of magazine i’ve never actually bought before might I add.. However, I am trying to keep my mind busy during lockdown and reading is something I enjoy and I wanted something different to a book.
I was doing one of the exercises in the magazine. It was about attracting something into your life that you want within the next week. I was going to brush it off, because as I asked myself half heartedly ‘what do you want’? and although I could answer with so many things, can’t we all? There wasn’t actually 1 poignant thing, standing out that I really wanted, but I found myself staying on the same page and so, I asked myself again, this time with more conviction, but also changing a word; “what do you really need”? As I thought longer and harder about it, “an accountant” came into my mind, this was perfect, something I really do need and within the next week would be great.

The idea is, once you ‘seek’ you let it go and I forgot about the exercise, I carried on reading through the magazine and I got to the end of the magazine where it’s full of ad’s, I would normally flick straight past these pages, don’t you? This time, I read through every single one and every single ad, but 1, was for some sort of holistic healing; reiki, psychic, angel healing and all sorts, but 1 ad struck me, an advertisement for an accountancy company, the lady who is also a psychic. See, I didn’t want just any old stuffy accountant, working from a plush office in central London, who expenses their posh coffees, I wanted one who actually has an interest in the things I have an interest in, so that we can resonate with one another.
3 pages of ads, only 1 differed and it’s for an accountancy, what are the odds?

The moral of the story is; ‘if you don’t ask, you don’t get’, it’s one of my greatest traits as a human, as a woman, as an Aries, as a 90’s chick, as me. I don’t get het up on what people may thing of me if I ask a dumb question, no question is a stupid question in my eyes.

Also remembering, asking, or seeking/ wishing or thinking, it’s more than just what you want/need, but it’s about being aware of whether this want/need serves you well. Like I mentioned a quote at the beginning ‘thoughts become things’ be aware of how you talk to yourself. If you like reading and do fancy a good book, I recommend; ‘what to say when you talk to yourself’

Namaste

Louise

Founder

Should Men & Women be equal?

International Womens Day 2020
Everyday, I celebrate being a woman. As a daughter, a sister, a God daughter, a niece, a cousin, a friend, a girlfriend and a Founder & Director of a small business in England.

So should Men & Women be equal?

In a world when we can be so many things, why do we want to be the same?

I want this blog to celebrate women, whatever women want to celebrate; Motherhood, Wife life, Femtrepreneur or Feminism…

For me, femininity is about raw emotion, vulnerability, strength, mood swings, nurturing..

I can only ever speak from my personal life experience, because that’s all i’ve experienced. What I know, is that daily, hormones can get the better of me. Crying over spilt milk, but it doesn’t stop me from doing things and that’s what being a female means to me, showing emotion, shedding tears, breaking down, but getting back up again..

On Friday 2nd June 2017, I emailed my manager at the time, to quit my full time job in central London. I took home a comfortable pay slip each month of £1,500+ I never questioned whether I was paid equally and I never have in all of my working life. I’ve just always been so grateful to have a job, an income, because it has given me tremendous independence and I am so grateful to each and every employer who gave me the opportunities that they did…

But, I couldn’t shake the epiphany that i’d had, about a week or so before handing in that notice, i’d been sitting stationary on a train at London Kings Cross station. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, a knowing, just like the knowing I had, as I lay on a blowup sofa one spring day, back in 2015, when I decided to leave England and live in Australia for a year…
I had no backup plan then, and I had no back up plan this time, no savings and I had outgoings of circa £700.00 every month, so it was there, but that normal overthinking the financial worry, that we often use as an excuse to delay things, or even worse, put things off entirely, it just wasn’t there. I just knew what I had to do.
It’s funny, because as you look back over time, it was actually 2nd June 2015 that I arrived in Australia…

In November 2017 I became self employed as a Meditation teacher and it was during my time in Australia that I found Meditation…

….It was all meant to be.
When I started teaching back in 2017, it was for females only, now, I teach meditation for females & males, adults and children, those in the NHS, those in school and those in an office…. I don’t discriminate, so maybe I am all about equality after all…

Stress Less Relax to the Max Ladies only Class

The heartbreak that I went through with an ex, the unknowing of where I was going to live, what I was going to do with my life, it all suddenly became worthwhile, to go through all of that, to experience what I did, it all made sense.

I watched a movie with my boyfriend last night called ‘Passengers’ and that is the best way I can explain my life over these past 5 years, as I let go more and more of control, I become a passenger, of a human life experience. It feels scary, but at the same time so exciting, as if life is already destined for me, we just have to learn to ride the wave..

Happy International Womens Day

Louise

Founder